Watching the families work together during harvest time makes me wonder why the children like this are not mentioned in the media. What kind of relationship could be explored, what kind of values are being formed. Too often only hear of the children that get in trouble, the gang bangers. These kids are victims of…………… For whatever reason the media loves a victim, if you are not a victim of something they seldom pay attention.
Families form bonds from generation to generation. So often I hear the comment, “You remind me of your grandfather/grandmother.” A statement so true, it is, not only in appearance but in actions. For the actions/behavior is passed on through the generations. There are always variables yet it tends to be a solid norm.
Marketing groups that study human behavior for market purposes and advertising have known for years that people values are pretty well formed by the time they are a teenager. Recognizing this, marketing plans are built around the values that were going on during generations when the kids were in their pre-teens. What were the popular TV programs then, what were the sports icons, games being played and pastimes, popular toys?
Growing up our values are formed by interaction with the family, peer groups and some media influence. What kind of family life did one grow up in? Was working a value, how about church, what was the respect of parents towards their children. What kind of interaction was there with the peer group was there bullying, violent games or was there love and compassion. , the influence of the formative years. Did mom stay at home and raise the children or was there daycare involved.
What the influences were they are pretty well locked into a value system for the rest of their life during their teen years. These values stay with us throughout our life unless there some significant emotional event in life to change the value process. Psychologists work with these norms when studying behavior and trying to identify mental problems and to deal with issues. One of the key things they want people to understand it is their trait and it was learned. Once again there are exceptions. A trait that has been learned stays with one or it is worked on to try and change the behavior.
To change a behavior the counselors want a person to own their behavior. When one identifies their behavior and accepts it changes can then be worked on. These different behaviors are often referring to as core values. Example of a core value is the crook. His value is that society owes him a living and what you have he is entitled to. Values of entitlement in the clinical psychologist world is quiet often referred to as being a distorted value. Distorted values is what counselors try to change.
Somewhere the crook gained the value that he was entitled to others possessions. Maybe his father was a crook or maybe he grew up with gang members. There was an acceptable value to have a sense of entitlement and to acquire it by gun or some other scheme was an acceptable behavior. This behavior will be with him for the rest of his life unless some significant emotional event comes along to change their thinking.
This is one of the reasons why there are so many repeat offenders in prison. Going to prison for some is not enough of an emotional event to change them. Behaviors that are value based seldom change. Then that is why gracious people will always be gracious people throughout their lives. People have learned that certain behaviors generate rewards and they are taught to act in a certain way. How a person behaves in high school is pretty well set on how they will act the rest of their life.
So watching children interact gives one an idea of how they will be as they grow up. Were they in a warm loving, caring family or did they grow up in a neglectful uncaring family. If I recognize these traits in me and they are traits I do not like I can change them or they remain part of my personality for the rest of my life.
So I take this and overlay this onto politics. Why politicians act the way they do makes more sense. Their values were formed years ago and they are not going to change much. So when a politician starts talking about change it is about changing to his way of thinking not changing to my or your way of thinking. Change raise all kinds of hackles when it is mentioned but there has to be some kind of change. So what is going to be the significant emotional event to change the mind set of politicians?
Look at the Supreme Court nominee, Sonia Sotomayor. As she went through the interview process in the Senate she would remark how she would change her thought process. Whoops, what effected this change? This comes off as a deception. By various established norms a person’s values do not change, unless………… Sotomayor has had her values for more than 40 years and they have been consistent. Then overnight she is going to change, I have my doubts.
This has been solid for years, the spots on leopard do not change yet as voters we buy into this notion. So why did the Court nominee get by so easy. One can surmise the race card and so many are afraid of that but in a court of law race is supposed to be left at the door step. Will we have a new Supreme Court Justice that got her position because of bullying by using the race card?
Step back and look at values, what are hers? What is going to change her values? Once seated on the Supreme Court there are not too many ways to get rid of them. They have a lifetime appointment.
Growing up in the projects, what kind of life could of she had? What kind of gang influence was there, what kind of social life did she have?
Looking at the kids growing up today and what they are going through what kind of values will they have? Look at your grandchildren and children as they grow up. What kind of values are you trying to instill in them? Do you want them to grow up in a political climate like we have today?
The sense of entitlement has become very pervasive in society today. Where does it come from, how does one acquire a sense of entitlement? If I have that as a personality trait do I want to keep it? Very tough questions but remember psychologists say entitlement is a distortion. Therefore entitlement is not a reality. In society today government gives us so many programs that we have come to expect big brother to take care of us. So many feel government owes us something and right now of those issues is healthcare.
Whoa, government already offers all types of healthcare. My question is why should we form a new government health plan when the ones we have are half working. My feeling is get the ones we have working right and then we can move on. Why do things half ass. Remember entitlement is a distortion.
This goes back to values and to change values there has to be significant emotional event. The national consciousnesses probably will not change for 30-40 years. That is when the youngsters of today will be moving into the halls of government. What values are we giving to them. Will there be patience or will there be an eruption. Entitlement is a distortion but to gain entitlement lots of people resort to violence.
Taking various factors and plugging them in creates a picture that does not have a pleasant outcome.