So Be It…….Values…..From Where???




                Watching the families work together during harvest time makes me wonder why the children like this are not mentioned in the media.  What kind of relationship could be explored, what kind of values are being formed.  Too often only hear of the children that get in trouble, the gang bangers.  These kids are victims of……………  For whatever reason the media loves a victim, if you are not a victim of something they seldom pay attention.

                Families form bonds from generation to generation.  So often I hear the comment, “You remind me of your grandfather/grandmother.”  A statement so true, it is, not only in appearance but in actions.  For the actions/behavior is passed on through the generations.  There are always variables yet it tends to be a solid norm.

                Marketing groups that study human behavior for market purposes and advertising have known for years that people values are pretty well formed by the time they are a teenager.  Recognizing this, marketing plans are built around the values that were going on during generations when the kids were in their pre-teens.  What were the popular TV programs then, what were the sports icons, games being played and pastimes, popular toys? 

                Growing up our values are formed by interaction with the family, peer groups and some media influence.  What kind of family life did one grow up in?  Was working a value, how about church, what was the respect of parents towards their children.  What kind of interaction was there with the peer group was there bullying, violent games or was there love and compassion. , the influence of the formative years.  Did mom stay at home and raise the children or was there daycare involved.

                What the influences were they are pretty well locked into a value system for the rest of their life during their teen years.  These values stay with us throughout our life unless there some significant emotional event in life to change the value process.  Psychologists work with these norms when studying behavior and trying to identify mental problems and to deal with issues.  One of the key things they want people to understand it is their trait and it was learned.  Once again there are exceptions.  A trait that has been learned stays with one or it is worked on to try and change the behavior.

                To change a behavior the counselors want a person to own their behavior.  When one identifies their behavior and accepts it changes can then be worked on.  These different behaviors are often referring to as core values.  Example of a core value is the crook.  His value is that society owes him a living and what you have he is entitled to.  Values of entitlement in the clinical psychologist world is quiet often referred to as being a distorted value.  Distorted values is what counselors try to change.

                Somewhere the crook gained the value that he was entitled to others possessions.  Maybe his father was a crook or maybe he grew up with gang members.  There was an acceptable value to have a sense of entitlement and to acquire it by gun or some other scheme was an acceptable behavior.  This behavior will be with him for the rest of his life unless some significant emotional event comes along to change their thinking.

                This is one of the reasons why there are so many repeat offenders in prison.  Going to prison for some is not enough of an emotional event to change them.  Behaviors that are value based seldom change.  Then that is why gracious people will always be gracious people throughout their lives.  People have learned that certain behaviors generate rewards and they are taught to act in a certain way.  How a person behaves in high school is pretty well set on how they will act the rest of their life.   

                So watching children interact gives one an idea of how they will be as they grow up.  Were they in a warm loving, caring family or did they grow up in a neglectful uncaring family.    If I recognize these traits in me and they are traits I do not like I can change them or they remain part of my personality for the rest of my life.

                So I take this and overlay this onto politics.  Why politicians act the way they do makes more sense.  Their values were formed years ago and they are not going to change much.  So when a politician starts talking about change it is about changing to his way of thinking not changing to my or your way of thinking.  Change raise all kinds of hackles when it is mentioned but there has to be some kind of change.  So what is going to be the significant emotional event to change the mind set of politicians?

                Look at the Supreme Court nominee, Sonia Sotomayor.  As she went through the interview process in the Senate she would remark how she would change her thought process.  Whoops, what effected this change?  This comes off as a deception.  By various established norms a person’s values do not change, unless…………  Sotomayor has had her values for more than 40 years and they have been consistent.  Then overnight she is going to change, I have my doubts.

                This has been solid for years, the spots on leopard do not change yet as voters we buy into this notion.  So why did the Court nominee get by so easy.  One can surmise the race card and so many are afraid of that but in a court of law race is supposed to be left at the door step.  Will we have a new Supreme Court Justice that got her position because of bullying by using the race card?

                Step back and look at values, what are hers?  What is going to change her values?  Once seated on the Supreme Court there are not too many ways to get rid of them.  They have a lifetime appointment.

                Growing up in the projects, what kind of life could of she had?  What kind of gang influence was there, what kind of social life did she have?

                Looking at the kids growing up today and what they are going through what kind of values will they have?  Look at your grandchildren and children as they grow up.  What kind of values are you trying to instill in them?  Do you want them to grow up in a political climate like we have today?

                The sense of entitlement has become very pervasive in society today.  Where does it come from, how does one acquire a sense of entitlement?  If I have that as a personality trait do I want to keep it?  Very tough questions but remember  psychologists say entitlement is a distortion.  Therefore entitlement is not a reality.  In society today government gives us so many programs that we have come to expect big brother to take care of us.  So many feel government owes us something and right now of those issues is healthcare. 

                Whoa, government already offers all types of healthcare.  My question is why should we form a new government health plan when the ones we have are half working.  My feeling is get the ones we have working right and then we can move on.  Why do things half ass.  Remember entitlement is a distortion. 

                This goes back to values and to change values there has to be significant emotional event.  The national consciousnesses probably will not change for 30-40 years.  That is when the youngsters of today will be moving into the halls of government.  What values are we giving to them.  Will there be patience or will there be an eruption.  Entitlement is a distortion but to gain entitlement lots of people resort to violence. 

                Taking various factors and plugging them in creates a picture that does not have a pleasant outcome.

8 thoughts on “So Be It…….Values…..From Where???

  1. So many thoughts, here, John. News is always the *exception.* When all we hear is about the good stuff, then we should worry. :)

  2. Very well said and true. Values are a learned trait as is honor and just plain doing the right thing. Many find it easier to take the easiest way out and not do the right things when sometimes its the hardest. Much of that in my opinion is because of self interest or thinking of themselves and not others. Just my thoughts. Well done.Neahw (thank you) for sharing."Paselo"Rich

  3. The problem comes from the political people in power. They have the attitude they know what best for me and want to impose their will on me. Their value system is askew and how does one change their perspective is the problem. To take distorted values and try to impose on others is one there are problems. Nobody that I know likes to be the property of others but when somebody is imposing their values on another then they are treating those people as objects…….. That is a serious problem.

  4. You have written an very indepth Blog , Powerful and with lots of food for thought. Very well thought out and I can see where your values are and how they are formed. I know as an Adult Im responsable for my thoughts and actions . In and around the World it hard to define events and how they will happen and why. Good People get hurt and so do the ones that are Labled Bad. The Circle will continue and all we can do be accountable for who and what we are today. Great Blog John and had to read this a fewtimes. Thank you Have a Great Night and SundayLisa

  5. John, Thank you for visiting the Painting Studio and for your comments. Other than an occasional movie star most politicians are lawyers that are elected to office with other lawyers and make laws. It is a rather self perpetuating and self serving system for those within. Of course the health care system in place should be fixed rather than re created as a new system from scratch. Here is a thought on "shovel ready" projects. There are plenty of projects in progress that could use stimulis money for completion by doubling the existing workforce and get it done ASAP thus creating new jobs now. Instead shovel ready projects must apply for funds, go through the red tape and wait for approval as workers remain idle and without pay. Of course it makes too much sense to get the economy going the quickest easiest way. Values. When family values erode or are non existant education and re education should be aimed at instilling positive traits from an early age through high school. Achivement, self worth, responsibility for one’s actions, honesty, respect, tolleration and the aim for gainful and meaningful employment are a few. I would not be opposed to a couple of years of manditory public service in the military, Americorps, or Peace Corps for youth that have fallen through the cracks.As ever be well

  6. two points strike me as I visit your interesting blog. 1. You ask "Why should we form a new government health plan when the ones we have are half working? Would you be content with an army that was 50% effective? An football/baseball team that only won half its games? 2. You mention "values" but it is our generation that has allowed all the weird minority groups to dictate national and indeed international policy. We have sown our moral seed on stony ground – sadly future generations will have a poor harvest.

  7. Great tie in with entitlement and distortions. My first choice in college was psychology so I fully understand the difficulty in changhing a core value. Anyone who has tried to quite smoking or drinking can relate, these are subjective behaviors yet very difficult to change once normalized. Core values are 100 times harder. From PBS, public schools, mindless news and advertising they all spell out coutervalues to the nuclear family model seen as outdated and inpracticle in modern society, why is it inpracticle? Truth be told we have all fallen into the global stereotype of being the rich, spoiled, lazy Americans, we conformed to others’ views of us instead of defineing our own identities. Just as minorities fail to set their own identities and just fall back on the ones already created, our modern society has gotten too soft in the core. Our lives are too eary, too entitled, too simple to inspire the vigilence needed to suceed. We have government leaders laughing at the notion of reading legislation before sending it to the President for signature into law because they are too lazy. We have the President getting tripped up by liberal bloggers on section 102 of the 1100 page healthcare bill clearly stating private insurance is illegal because he has not read and will not read the bills out there he is insisting get done in 1 month, why? Why are we allowing our leaders who are dictating our present and future laws to not read and understand the very bills they are championing and insisting we have to pass now? Who is writting this legislation is the law makers are not even reading it? How can you debate legislation you have not read? How can you understand something you have not fully investigated? Ask the current congress and president because this is whay they have been doing since January and continue to do. We have to force them to change to do what they are susposed to do, not some shadowy group of intellectual elite aides whos loyality and ideology lay with the radical left and what they feel is best for us, not what the will of the electorate is. Great post John, we need to identify what is wrong before we can fix it. I believe you are onto something real here with core values gone missing. I remember saying the pledge of alligance each morning before school, being tought about respect and honor, seeing examples of hard work and sacrifice to get ahead in life. Today those have all vanished today. Its all about finding the easy way out, relaxing more, being owed this or that advantage by just being. From work to marketplace to church and government we have all become lazy and its time we got that slap in the face to buckle down and burn the midnight oil to stop this path we are going down so we can dictate our own futures, not some group of radical Harvard and Priceton elites who pull the strings behind the lazy politicans who can’t take the time to ready what they sign their names to.

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